A recent statistic indicates that about 35% of Baby Boomers have been divorced.  Many of them had married very young, had children at a young age, and then began to feel “Is that all there is?”  The oldest of the Baby Boomers came of age during several powerful movements.  Women’s Liberation and then Sexual Liberation, spurred on partly by the availability of the birth control pill, along with an increasing number of women graduating from colleges and getting advanced degrees.  Opportunities started becoming available for women to become doctors, lawyers and businesswomen instead of only have the choice to become nurses, attorney’s aids and administrative assistants.  Many housewives became noticeably depressed and anxious, feeling as though Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique had been written about them.

Many Baby Boomers got divorced a long time ago.  Some remarried once, twice, even 3-4 times.  And many Baby Boomers remained married throughout that era of free love and changing morality.  But then as they are approaching middle age, their 40’s, 50’s and even 60’s, many of these true blue marrieds have begun questioning the way they have been living their lives – especially as they become empty nesters.  Many are living a reasonably comfortable existence but have been feeling deprived of emotional and/or sexual intimacy with their spouse, often for years, even decades.  Some boomers remained married to keep the family intact.  Others felt a strong sense of moral or spiritual responsibility to make their marriage last.

So what happens when a person turns 40, 50 or 60, realizes the inevitability of their own mortality, and reevaluates the way they are living their life?  Some people are determined to explore their options.  Some seek counseling and are willing to reignite their childhood memories, once again feel those old emotional wounds, and hopefully finally put their past to rest.  Others seek immediate gratification in the present moment, returning to a childlike state of euphoria in the arms of an extramarital lover.  And some go for couples counseling, couples weekend retreats, in the quest to discover a way to recreate the passion and magic that once existed between them.

If you are currently wondering whether you are truly fulfilling your life’s purpose and whether it is possible to live the life of your dreams with your current spouse, you are not alone.  Many years ago, the famous psychologist Erik Erikson’s 8 Stages of Psychosocial Development defined the stage of Middle adulthood (ages 40-65) as the time to be generative, to give and leave a legacy for the next generation, and to release oneself from feeling stuck and in a state of stagnation.  The solution actually lies within although it can certainly look as if it is your partner’s fault.  Self-discovery, self-actualization, self-love and finding a way to recapture the empathy and love for your partner is probably the best choice.

Are you ready now, after all these years, to do that inner work that you probably both have needed for a long time?  Are you willing to give it one more shot, one more all-out effort to bring back the love between you and your partner?  Or have you decided to cut your losses, move on and take your chances in the unknown realm of the singles world?  You have only one life to live, at least at this time, so give your decision the time and educated knowing required.