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How to Know If You’re Ready to Start Over

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by Donna Marie Thompson, PhD.

How to Know If You’re Ready to Start Over

We all know that bouncing back from breaking up is a painful process; it can surely be can be quite an ordeal as we question everything about everything.  In the middle of it all, you’re not sure what is what anymore.  You seem to have lost your bearings.  Even some people who you thought were your friends have pulled away. The way forward is unclear.  Rest assured, this is quite common.

The Emotions

There are so many emotions – they come and go.  Some linger too long; while others are often fleeting. You can smile one minute then cry the next.  You’ve likely encountered many emotions to varying degrees: loneliness, sadness, grief, victimhood, anger, disappointment, resentment, and then — mercifully — eventual relief from the constant pain.  Many of the old relationship issues and relationship problems are fading from your consciousness.  Perhaps there is still one relationship issue that is nagging there – that one needs to be addressed and let go.
You have finally stopped saying “If only …” or “what if …”.  This is a road to nowhere.  There is no off-ramp it is and endless path that gives you no answers and no relief.  Do yourself a big favor – waste no more time on theories about what might have been. You are coming out on the other side into the light now. Your own personal development is beginning to take root.

The Good News

As your healing process is underway you start to feel better, but are you ready to begin a new relationship? One relationship readiness test is your ownership that you create your own happiness and joy. That is a very important beginning.
You are out in the world – start to interact with others. Sure, you can play it safe. Just say “hello” to everyone.  No intention, just hello.  No expectations, just hello.  You will see the difference in a few days.  It does not matter what happens with each person, you are already positive and out there in the good energy.  Set a goal – then go do it.

• Are you going out in the world trying to take in the large and small joys all around you?

• Are you an astute observer and receptive to the gift of life as it unfolds?

• Do you enjoy just being around others having fun?

• Can you appreciate beauty and joy in others without focusing on what is missing in your life?

• Have you forgiven yourself and your love for what happened?

• What areas of compatibility are essential versus what is nice to have?

• What can you contribute to a healthy relationship?

Channel Your Thoughts

The ability to channel your thoughts into areas that work FOR you, into thoughts that serve your purpose, is a key step in getting ready for a new relationship. Practice it on a daily basis. Breaking up deals us a new hand with new cards. Play the new cards – those are the only ones that you are holding

You have the ability to look back at each outing as an opportunity – no matter what the outcome. You will not judge any encounter as a failure but as a success in getting out into the world.  You are taking the first steps. You are on your way.  You have new hope for your goal of happiness and love in a healthy relationship in your life.

Tags: relationship couples marriage divorce dr. donna thompson

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