One of the blessings of traveling home to aging relatives for the holidays is not just the chance to celebrate with family, but to have the time and opportunity to really observe what’s going on in your loved one’s life.

While you’re preparing for the holiday at hand, use the time to take stock of your loved one’s condition.  Here are some things to check out, courtesy of a list published in the Los Angeles Times in 2010:

• What’s their mental state?  Are they confused, depressed or forgetful more than normal?
• Are they under-nourished or dehydrated because they have trouble handling grocery shopping and meal preparation chores?
• Do they bathe and clean house regularly?
• How are they handling their medications?  Do they remember what each is treating and do they take them in a regular routine?
• Are they consuming too much alcohol?
• Do they fall frequently?

Elder abuse is a serious problem, so here are some warning signs if you are relying on a paid caregiver while you live at a distance:

• Recent changes in banking or spending patterns;
• The paid caregiver isolates your loved one from family and friends;
• The caregiver exhibits some behavioral problems such as poor anger control or excessive drinking;
• Your loved one seems fearful of the caregiver, or, alternatively, views the caregiver as their new best friend.  Spending money on the caregiver or because the caregiver suggests it should be a red flag.
• If you suspect abuse, physical or financial, contact your local Adult Protective Services (usually county-based) or local senior services office.  Go to www.eldercare.gov for a listing of local senior agencies in the area where your loved one lives.

If the problems you note involve increasing frailty, then consult with your loved one’s doctor about developing a care management plan.  Be sure to get in touch with local family, friends and neighbors to share your concerns, and elicit their help in checking up on your loved one.  Don’t neglect to give them your contact information in case of an emergency.

Blessings, Joanne